1 quarter down, 5 to go!

My first visitors! Washington, Oregon & Canada all in 5 days!

In true Jesuit spirit, I have used the last couple of days to reflect on my experience during my first quarter of grad school. I first want to point out that my last post was three days before the quarter started. Clearly I have had a very busy quarter.

This quarter has been a whirlwind of emotions, activities, and experiences. I am still in awe that I have been living in Seattle for the last four months. Who would have ever thought I would move 2 states away from everyone I know and love? When I began the quarter I thought this move would be simple and everything would be amazing, but I was wrong. I had a hard time coping with being away from family and the home I've created for myself. I thought I was just experiencing a case of homesickness, but it was much more about what I was holding on to. I wasn't ready to let go of experiences and memories I had which was stopping me from enjoying my experiences in Seattle. It wasn't until my friend, Lexi, asked me "What do you need from these people at home and can you find that in people in Seattle?" that I realized I need to let myself give into the relationships I've formed in Seattle. Those two questions were advantageous for me and have helped me enjoy my time here so much more.

Trip home for Thanksgiving: Got to see Bre!

Aside from my overall experience, I am most reflective on my experience as an ARD thus far. I continue to learn more and more about the professional I want to be as I interact with  my RAs and the amazing Senior Team members. I've learned what I do not want in future jobs and what things I must have. I never thought there were things that I would not love about my work so much so that I do not want them in my day to day. I've learned to dig deeper with students and with myself to find out underlying affects. I've learned to tailor my interactions with students to best fit them and what they need from me. I hope I have done some great work and affected just one student in a positive way this fall. Throughout the quarter there has been many mistakes made, but I know that grad school is the time for these mistakes. I hope to see how I can change these things in the coming quarters. I will continue to learn and grow while leaning on my mentors for guidance and support. I could not  have do any of this without those who have shaped how I do this work: Danielle, Amber, Kristen, Travis, Chaz, Dr. Smith, Veronica, my USF RA family, and of course my mom. I continue to hold the lessons learned from you all near and see them playing out in much of the work I do. Thank you!

SUSDA Holiday Party

On the academic side of things, I am doing just fine. For those who know me well, you know I never seem like I'm doing any work for school. I continue to wake up early to do homework and set deadlines so that I am always ahead in class. Even with those deadlines, I pulled more all-nighters this quarter than I did in my entire 4 years of undergrad! Not happening next quarter! Sleep will be a priority. This quarter academically has made me a better writer and I even read for class each week! With Law next quarter, we'll see if I continue reading so hard considering all the tips and tricks I know for reading cases. Basically school is school and I will keep doing things the way I always have until it doesn't work anymore.

Only some of the great people in my year!

My first quarter is over and I am in awe. Me: a girl raised in a single parent home where my mom worked two jobs and could barely pay for undergrad, has made it to graduate school and completed her first quarter. There are 5 more quarters to go before I can make my mother proud again as she watches me walk across the stage for the 3rd time! I am proud of myself for making it this far despite all of the people who told me that  there was no way I would be doing this. As someone who loves to plan out her life, I am now debating whether I will get an Ed.D or go to law school. But I'll go into that in a blog over break as I dive further into that discernment process. For now, I'm one-sixth of the way done and can't wait to see what the rest of my time will be like!

All Work and No Play

Can't believe I haven't posted anything in 2 weeks. Guess that's what RA training and 2 move in days will do to me. So glad to have finally made it through all the craziness!

Campion Staff!

Being on the other side of RA training has really made me appreciate everyone who ever put on a training for me. I can remember how much I complained about how long training was and how I didn't want to be there. Being at this RA training, I have come to appreciate my own RA training. For one, we started training at 8:30am at the latest for breakfast and often ended around 9pm. Even though there were many breaks throughout the days, all my complaining about a 9-5 training seemed unnecessary now. Being someone who helps with training has taught me a lot about the importance of different aspects of training. RA training was quite the experience for me and I really appreciate my RAs working so hard and getting through it. At one point I was very nervous about getting to know the 21 RAs on my staff, but after the last two and a half weeks together I believe I've been doing a great job.

Our retreat was the perfect time for me to form great relationships with my RAs. Like many retreats, we had many opportunities to share with one another about aspects of our lives. I was able to learn about and learn from my RAs. We had time to talk about their personal lives and I shared things about my undergrad experience with them. We also had many chances to just spend time together doing whatever we wanted. 

After two and a half weeks of training and a mini move in day, our big day had arrived! I was super nervous for move in day and if I had planned everything right. I worked very hard on a schedule for the RAs and where they would work for the day. Organizing my 21 RAs, 42 volunteers, and 3 different sports teams was very scary and I was worried that something would go wrong all day, but everything went smoothly. We moved in about 400 residents and had very minimal issues. It was a successful day!! 

Lobby decorations

Lobby decorations

Me and 2 RAs on move in day!

Now that I have made it through my training, RA training, and move in day I am ready to begin the work of the year. My first week is very full with departmental meetings and 7 one-on-one meetings with RAs. Not to mention school starts on Wednesday! It's about time I go back to school considering I have been off since May, over 4 months!! I am excited to have homework and reading, but I know I won't feel that way by next week. It's time to get to work both in and out of the classroom!!

Things Just Got Real

The last week was full of new experiences! I've met a lot of new people and gone to some new places. It has been fun and tiring at the same time. My life in Seattle has really kicked into gear!

Skyline

Last Sunday, I was able to go to church which is very exciting and important to me. I was glad to have found a church to go to so quickly after moving here. I had an amazing time there and look forward to going back. Tuesday was my prep day for the RA training. I had to finish some things so I could be completely ready when my RAs arrived on Thursday.

RA gifts

Notebook, pen, and popcorn,

In the midst of getting ready for RA training I had to give up 3 days to go to graduate assistantship orientation. At GA orientation, I was finally able to meet other first year students in my program. On the first day, Wednesday, we did some team building in the morning. Can't be in student affairs without starting the day off with team building. We then got a chance to go a lunch for the entire Student Development Division. It was a nice chance to meet many people and see which departments I may be interested in for the future.
Thursday was the first day of RA training and the second day of GA orientation so things got a little busy. I had to spread my time between the two. I had to be at two different sections of RA training to introduce myself to the RAs. GA orientation focused on multicultural competence that day. Basically we did some deep sharing and talked about our identities.
After a long day of deep sharing and talking about my identity, all I wanted to do was sleep but that wasn't possible. I had my first staff time (in hall) from 7 to 9 that evening so there was no time to sleep. All this time I had been thinking about what it would be like to have a staff with 21 RAs, and many of my thoughts were on track. 21 RAs is a lot of energy in one room and makes conversations very long. It also means lots of people to get to know and try to blend together into one staff identity. Thursday was very eye opening in what I need to do to be sure all 21 people are heard and feel comfortable.
Friday was the last day of GA orientation which encompassed learning about Jesuit education and how our jobs work. The first part of the day were things I've learned during my four years at USF, but the second half of the day was very informative and helpful. Again I was able to spend lots of time with other first years which helped me form some beginning relationships. I'm glad to have spent 3 days with people who will be in my classes and who I will depend on during these next two years. I ended the day with staff time with my Campion staff. We learned a little more about each other and just spent some good time together. It was a great ending to my week.

I love this bow!

This past week gave me a glimpse into what the future will be like. I will likely spend my days with a mixture of people from cohort and some of my RAs. I am learning about what it takes to interact with my RAs in a way that lets me supervise them and learn about them. I am also ready to try and build relationships with people in my cohort. As an extrovert, I like to surround myself with a strong community of people and at this time I haven't found that community. So far my journey here has led me to really think about myself and the type of person I am. Everyday I seem to discover something new about myself or think of ways to improve something. For now I am looking forward to getting to know my staff, school starting, and a visit from my friends.

Unexpected Attack...

Please note that I do write out the entire "n-word" in this entry so if you don't want to see it, do not read any further.

On my 19th day in Seattle I have experienced something I never even thought would happen to me. Although I know racism exists, it has never crossed my mind that someone would call me "the n-word" to my face. I needed to buy gifts for my RAs and decided I would walk to Safeway for the first time. As I followed my GPS to Safeway, it took me down this street where I noticed the houses were big and well kept. Also the cars that were parked outside were nice cars. I walked down the street looking around at the houses and then I heard someone say, "Why's she on our street?" I quickly turned my head forward and noticed two males and a female who appeared to be white. I continued walking towards them as they were walking towards me. As they got closer the female said, "Hey nigger you shouldn't be on this street". One of the males quickly followed with, "Yeah nigger you need to know your place and this ain't it". I continued walking and someone called out, "We better not ever catch you on our street again". Although I have heard such language before, I don't think anyone is ever prepared when it is said to them.

I'd never thought about being called this before and I didn't think my emotions would be so high in hearing someone say it to me. I would have thought after years of studying race relations that hearing it wouldn't faze me. Well that was not the case. As I turned off of the street, tears began to fill my eyes. I was filled with emotions of sadness, anger, disgust, and disbelief. I've grown up in so many neighborhoods where the majority isn't people of color and still never experienced this. I believe these emotions are heightened by me adjusting to this place and being disrespected and devalued so quickly. I am in a complete state of confusion in this place where I am left to process this and try to continue to live here.I will never go to Safeway again or even go near that neighborhood. I do not believe in purposefully putting myself in negative situations so it will be avoided. I even took a different route home to avoid walking down that street again. Less than a month here and I am now in a state of wonder about everywhere I go. This has made me wonder if I have been walking a privileged life by not experiencing such racism earlier. If this had happened to me years ago, I wonder if I would have been so fazed by it today. My emotions are high and my feelings for the neighborhood in which I now work and live have been forever changed.

I only wish I was home with family, friends, and in a place where walking to the grocery store I'd never experience something like this.

Please excuse the lack of flow and cohesive thoughts in this blog, but these are my raw emotions and reactions to the situation.

When In Doubt, Friends Will Help You Out

In the last week my emotions have been on a roller-coaster ride. I've went from the excitement of my first week to super homesick to content to excited for the year to get going. Who knew that in the span of 7 days one could feel so many things? Although I've been very excited about Seattle and my new life here, I began to feel homesick and extremely sad. I cried a lot over the last week because I missed my friends and family. I even debated if I really wanted to stay here. My friends, Keala and Victoria, tried to talk me out of it and convince me that I'd be okay here after a couple of weeks but I wasn't listening. It took a phone call from my best friend, Kemar, telling me that being in Seattle was best for me and to try to be happy here. Even though his advice is always short, he gets through to me. After the conversation, I started to embrace my time here in Seattle.

L to R: Kemar, Victoria, ME, Keala

To feel more comfortable here, I decided I'd cook myself dinner. Although cooking is not my favorite thing to do, I was having fun in the kitchen cooking for myself. I cooked dinner two nights in a row and it made me feel much better. Again it's not my favorite thing to do, so two nights was more than enough cooking for me. The week got even better on Thursday when myself and the other grad assistants in housing got together to have a progressive dinner. We went around to each other's apartments and had food. It was just what I needed during a week where I was so sad. We had an amazing time and were able to get to know each other a lot more.

Friday was the best day of the week for me! I went out to get my nails done which always relaxes me!! I also went to a restaurant called Island Soul where I had curry goat for the first time. I didn't expect to like it but the food was amazing and I will be going back very soon. The best part of my day was coming home to see there was a TV in my living room!! I'd been waiting for my tv all week and was excited to spend my entire weekend on the couch watching it. That is precisely what I did most of the weekend!

Island Soul with Jackie

The week started off rocky, but with the help of friends both old and new I was able to get out of my funk. Now I'm back into the work week and working hard to prepare for the RAs to return. Soon  I'll be busy doing the things I love and making connections with students. I believe now really begins my road to becoming a student affairs professional. I hope you'll come along for the crazy ride!

Assistant Resident Director... Take One

How can I describe my first week of training? Hard, stressful, sad, informational, fun, exciting, and supportive. It was a whirlwind of emotions all while trying to learn what it takes to work here. Let me take you through the week.

I'm official!

My office! 

We started on the very first day with a ROPES COURSE!! If you know me, you know that I hate being outdoors and bugs absolutely freak me out!! Not only was I going to be outside all day, but I had to do it with complete strangers. I was terrified the first day, but that all went away very quickly as I got to interact with the staff. People were friendly and really open to talk to anyone. We had to do challenges together, get to know each other, and try to take lessons home from the experience. It was a great experience and left me feeling like I'd really fit in here.

Photo Credit: Jackie

Day 2 and 3 are days that I've always dreaded during housing training, Diversity Day. I was in complete shock that we were doing it so early in training. I mean come on, I didn't know any of these people well enough to be sharing my life with them. I had decided before the day even started that I wasn't going to talk. Well, we all know I love talking so that plan didn't work out well. There was so much sharing and emotions in those two days that I felt much closer to my staff after them. Like all days talking about diversity and social justice, we had our moments of disagreement and anger. Things got messy but we worked through best we could. I believe if it didn't get emotional and messy then we would have been doing something wrong.

On Thursday, day 4, we participated in the university's faculty and staff service day. I went to the Lifelong AIDS Alliance where I put together cake boxes and sorted onions. I learned a lot about the importance of helping those with AIDS. Lastly, on Friday we got into some procedures for housing. I learned about duty protocol, my role in SLT training (RA training), and how to utilize CAPS on campus. This was just the beginning of my information overload.

Photo Credit: Kathi

Overall my first week of training was great. I really believe I'll have a great experience as an ARD here. I'm not quite ready today, but after the next 2 weeks of training I think I'll be prepared. More than anything I am thankful for the supportive staff that I am a piece of!!

Photo Credit: Jackie

I'm On My Own Now...

It was strongly suggested to me that I blog my first year of graduate school. Well I've decided it could be fun to document my life and all my new experiences. So here it is...


It's my first night alone in my apartment and it's only been 3 days since I moved to Seattle so the adjustment period is serious. On Saturday I got on a plane and flew almost 800 miles with my mom by my side. She was probably the only reason I wasn't constantly crying about the move. We (mostly me) unpacked all my things and put them away. By the end of the day I had officially moved into my first apartment. Sunday was full of wrong buses, closed stores, and trying to find a place to buy pillows which turned to to be a fail. Eventually we gave up on those things and did what we know best, shopping and sightseeing! We went to the museum of glass and to the Space Needle! After walking around downtown Seattle for hours, it was time to come home so I could finish last minute apartment things. I never thought about all the things I'd have to do just to make my apartment feel like home.
After 4 years of living in a small dorm room, an apartment is a major upgrade. Living in an apartment comes with all the responsibilities I don't like. Cooking, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom, and taking out the trash. Everyone who knows me can say I'm not the domestic type. This year of being in my own apartment where I have to take care of myself shall be interesting. Not to mention I have to balance it with being in a new city, starting grad school, and my first year as an Assistant Resident Director. I am in for a world of change in this next year and I hope I can make it through it all. Time to put on my big girl pants and see just what type of grown up I will be.

Seattle University for school & work

Space Needle

Flowers Made Out Of Glass